I bought my 7 yr old son, Ezra, a real live skate board for Christmas, complete with DC shoes in red and black which he was pining for after a visit to Starr Skate shop in Tucson. This is the kind of present I feel super happy about giving my kid. Could it result in several traumas? Yes. Important for a boy and anyway, he got Hello Kitty band aids to go with it. Could it result in physical challenges, risk taking and integrating himself into a “tribe”? Check, check and check.
We spent part of Christmas day at one of Tucson’s best skate parks and were back again today. Holy Smokes those bowls are steep!!! As you might guess there are scant few women or grrrls of any sort at the Skate Park, and no one else had their mother there, but no one else was 7 either, so I felt justified and Ezra stayed a reasonably cool distance away. I certainly did not anticipate writing about Skateboarding on my Primal Living blog spot, but once I got up close to all those boys it hit me hard… boys are primitive and skate parks are a place to go to honor that primitive nature. Why is the world always trying so hard to make boys into civilized, proper creatures? I hope my beloved sexism-fighting sisters and I aren’t to blame. I hope we didn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. Date rape is not acceptable, but crews of boys doing their thing? I saw the Primal nature of it today at the Skate Park.
We know that hunter-gatherer cultures usually have a system in place for recognizing achievements, physical and intellectual in their boys and young men and honoring the different stages in life that mark entry into manhood. This is sadly missing in our modern culture as many sociologists have recognized. The self-help and family sections of the book stores are packed with books on the problems with boys and modern society. Everyone knows that public schools reward typical girl behavior and that we overuse dangerous medication to create quiet, sitting-still, non-rambunctious boys. Boys need danger and other boys. They need skate boards and skaters.
It was a complete multi racial mix at the Skate park : black, Latino, and white blonde ranging in age from 7 to early 20s. I watched them check out each other’s boards. Older boys complimenting the younger ones on their boards. I watched teenage boys teach younger kids moves. Watched them perform feats for each other where they were really impressed and offered congratulations for a good accomplishment. It was genuinely cool. Even though it was not designed to impress girls (since I was the only one there), it was impressive from a girl perspective. I ended up with a crush on them all. They were funny, daring, athletic, and jovial. All things wonderfully boyish. I dragged Ezra away after an hour since I had to get to work, with him saying “I love skateboarding”. I decided that I would be more than happy with my kid hanging out at the Skate Park with a boy crew…especially if I’m there, the only Mom, keeping an eye on things. I’ll be cool about it though. Promise.
Very Cool post. I like your perspective and totally agree. I am getting back to the basics myself...we've talked about a few things like chickens and farming. My inner cave-boy is now entertaining thoughts of bow hunting.
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