Be Free!!!

These are my boys and my fantabulous niece. We stayed at the "Be Free" bed and breakfast in the White Mtns of NH this past summer together. "Live Free or die" of course being the NH state motto, made life in AZ politics an easy transition. My two nephews were there for a bit also. It was a very nice place and the child-less lady who owned it was very kind and tolerant of the child mob. But, we didn't really feel exactly "free". I have total respect for people who do not bring kids to their vacation and would like a little peace and quiet. But kids, even well behaved ones (ruling out complete repression) are boisterous and energetic...and don't always like the "Be Free" breakfast that is served. My kids have been squelched enough/repressed enough or perhaps tucked enough manners into their little selves to avoid totally embarrassing responses to food they don't want, but my niece has neither the age nor inherent inclination to go around pleasing other people. Good girl. Something along the lines of "I don't want that breakfast at all. It doesn't look good." might have been said while her mother is nowhere to be seen-just her aunt. She hopped down from the table and that was that. "Should I make her something else?" asked Be Free proprietess? "No," I said "she is fine. Thank you for offering." Meanwhile all 4 boy cousins were looking wistfully at their plates wishing they were still 4 and could do something similar. It was really pretty funny, but is one of those GIANT MOUNTAINOUS parenting issues. Food and kids. Kids and food. What about kids and Paleo food? What about traditional cultures and food for kids? My next few posts will be on this issue (although I might intersperse some other stuff, like what we had for dinner). I want to first set out the notion that I believe kids are individual human beings and deserve the same respect and contemplation we might give to another adult. Of course they aren't adults and need parenting and so there is a mountain of gray area here, but in terms of forcing kids to eat something they don't want- I am not for it. Each autonomous human being whether young or old should be able to say no to putting food in their mouth unless they have extreme extenuating circumstances like anorexia. As a parent I believe it is my job to purchase WHAT foods will be on our table, and to decide WHEN they will be prepared, but not WHETHER my kid will open wide. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING takes the joy and pleasure and renewal out of shopping, cooking and serving more than fighting and cajoling at the table. I hate it, so why would I do it? Forcing kids to eat what they don't want does not make them appreciate my cooking or have gratitude for the healthy food in front of them or acknowledge how much more powerful I am than they are. It makes them mad. It makes them feel small - not in size. It might make them feel sick even. Or maybe it makes them happy because they had the opportunity to engage in a little battle with their parent which kids LOVE.