Primal Boys? Go to the Skate Park.

I bought my 7 yr old son, Ezra, a real live skate board for Christmas, complete with DC shoes in red and black which he was pining for after a visit to Starr Skate shop in Tucson. This is the kind of present I feel super happy about giving my kid. Could it result in several traumas? Yes. Important for a boy and anyway, he got Hello Kitty band aids to go with it. Could it result in physical challenges, risk taking and integrating himself into a “tribe”? Check, check and check.

We spent part of Christmas day at one of Tucson’s best skate parks and were back again today. Holy Smokes those bowls are steep!!! As you might guess there are scant few women or grrrls of any sort at the Skate Park, and no one else had their mother there, but no one else was 7 either, so I felt justified and Ezra stayed a reasonably cool distance away. I certainly did not anticipate writing about Skateboarding on my Primal Living blog spot, but once I got up close to all those boys it hit me hard… boys are primitive and skate parks are a place to go to honor that primitive nature. Why is the world always trying so hard to make boys into civilized, proper creatures? I hope my beloved sexism-fighting sisters and I aren’t to blame. I hope we didn’t throw the baby out with the bathwater. Date rape is not acceptable, but crews of boys doing their thing? I saw the Primal nature of it today at the Skate Park.

We know that hunter-gatherer cultures usually have a system in place for recognizing achievements, physical and intellectual in their boys and young men and honoring the different stages in life that mark entry into manhood. This is sadly missing in our modern culture as many sociologists have recognized. The self-help and family sections of the book stores are packed with books on the problems with boys and modern society. Everyone knows that public schools reward typical girl behavior and that we overuse dangerous medication to create quiet, sitting-still, non-rambunctious boys. Boys need danger and other boys. They need skate boards and skaters.

It was a complete multi racial mix at the Skate park : black, Latino, and white blonde ranging in age from 7 to early 20s. I watched them check out each other’s boards. Older boys complimenting the younger ones on their boards. I watched teenage boys teach younger kids moves. Watched them perform feats for each other where they were really impressed and offered congratulations for a good accomplishment. It was genuinely cool. Even though it was not designed to impress girls (since I was the only one there), it was impressive from a girl perspective. I ended up with a crush on them all. They were funny, daring, athletic, and jovial. All things wonderfully boyish. I dragged Ezra away after an hour since I had to get to work, with him saying “I love skateboarding”. I decided that I would be more than happy with my kid hanging out at the Skate Park with a boy crew…especially if I’m there, the only Mom, keeping an eye on things. I’ll be cool about it though. Promise.

Winter Solstice

Today I will not write a long post about all the types of hunger that don't have to do with food, but there are a bunch. Nourishment has to do with many aspects of life. Satisfying our most innate desires is important so that we don't compensate later. Today is the Winter Solstice and acknowledging and celebrating this day makes huge contributions to some of that non-food type of nourishment. The Winter Solstice is an extremely Primal moment in the year. This 24hr period is the longest stretch of darkness we will experience in the year. Cold and dark. Two of the original human challenges. We need visible, feel-it-in-your-gut type enemies, like coldness and darkness. These are human challenges that unite us in our attempts to overcome them. For those of you with experience living in cold places you are familiar with that slight euphoria that precedes a big Nor-easter. Everyone runs to the store for batteries and bread and laughs and jokes and shakes their heads together. As a society we don't have those moments very often. Some of my most memorable moments from when my children were very little involve battling the weather with my Circle of Mamas. Leaving the house to be together, to make soup together and to mother together was a big adventure in the winter. I remember one cold winter day where we congregated at my friend Katy's house for some sledding. The Moms joined forces to keep the kids mittened, booted and warm, but while the fun was going on there was a little thaw so that the icy driveway became even slipperier. When the sun headed down over the horizon everyone went to go home and my friend Deb couldn't get out of the driveway. Her old SUV was of the type that did not engage 4WD unless it could move a little. An entire crew of tired Mamas and kids worked to push, shovel, innovate and sand to get Deb's vehicle free. Unite and fight together against an enemy that is real and not another human!! Cookie swaps were less about cookies than about a little human contact in that long stretch of cold and dark. Fire takes on an important role at the Solstice too. Heat from a fire is warming like no central heat system can ever be. Kids love fire (like most adults). Let them light candles and poke the back yard Chiminea. Teach them to build a fire. If they burn their fingers give them some ice and aloe and they will have grown smarter in the process. Fire is dangerous, challenging and incredibly rewarding. Of course cooking food on your fire makes it better. Keep it simple. Four Christmases ago my family and I spent the holiday in the Chiricahua Mtns. Santa found us there, but I forgot to pack any knives or silverware! We cooked over an open fire with sticks and it was hilariously challenging. Amazing how inept and useless we all become without out little crutches! Following a Primal diet should not be done out of context. Notice your seasons, your weather. Provide yourself and your family with some of those other aspects of primal living that are just as nourishing as food. Celebrate the Winter Solstice.