Paleo Greek - Episode #3: Bacon Wrapped Figs

It turns out it was the post-age 50, possessor of more strict pushups than years, Betty F., who made the bacon-wrapped figs at our CrossFit BBQ the other day. I've been wanting them again and somehow I am sure that figs qualify as Greek, even if bacon might be a stretch. The thought of bringing them to our theatrical potluck occurred to me in the grocery store, so I bought the only figs I could find: dried Tena Figs. Once I was home and began researching the methodology it became clear these were not the preferred fig. Never mind. Push on through. Just like making grape leaves and spring rolls reveals my inner character flaws, making bacon-wrapped figs revealed an inner truth about Son #1. I gave him the job of poking a hole in each fig and inserting 2 pine nuts. Done and done. Then I mentioned he would now be wrapping the figs in raw bacon... "What!? Raw, slimy bacon!!! Do I have to??" "Yes, you have to" I said. I sliced the strips of raw bacon long-lengthwise and then in half cross-ways. I gave him the bacon strips, toothpicks and the figs. The first 5 bacon-wrappings were accompanied by squeals of disgust and allegations of child torture which I pretended not to hear. Then there was a long silence. I spied a little bit and it was clear that the engineering issues involved in taking a round fig, a long strip of bacon and a toothpick and trying to cover as much area of the fig as possible had won out over the grossness factor of raw bacon. He was hooked, and worked in quiet concentration until they were all finished. Son #1 played King Midas in one of the plays, so here is his recipe. He also wanted to make sure it was clear in the photos that he is wearing a Red Sox hat...

King Midas' Bacon-Wrapped Figs Stuffed with Pine Nuts

Preheat oven to 400 deg.

25 dried Tena Figs
50 raw pine nuts
25 strips of uncured bacon (cut as described above)

Using a sharp knife, poke a little hole in each fig and insert 2 pine nuts. Wrap a strip of bacon around the stuffed Fig, secure it with a toothpick and lay it on a cookie sheet.

Bake in the oven, about 12min per side, turning once.

Paleo Greek - Episode #2: Grape Leaves, The Filling

Grape leaves can be found in Middle Eastern as well as Mediterranean cuisine. As we searched recipes for a more Greek version, we noticed two types of spice themes: the allspice/cinnamon version sometimes incorporating raisins or the dill/mint/oregano version never including raisins. The allspice version is a little more Turkish-leaning and the green aromatics are a little more Greek. I'm a little particular about when dill shows up in my life (I love it, but not in every setting), so we went with the mint/oregano spice theme. Because I wasn't using rice and I wanted the finished Grape Leaves to have a lot of flavor, I wanted to use lamb. Lamb is flavorful, but a little strong and expensive. I mixed it 1/3 with 2/3 ground turkey and was very happy with the meat flavor. I made an enormous quantity of the filling. It was easy and I used the leftovers to make meatballs for later.

Paleo Grape Leaves: Filling

1 lg white onion (minced very small)
5 garlic cloves (minced)
4T butter
In a small saucepan melt the butter and add the onions. Cook them over medium heat until they begin to turn transluscent (again don't overdo it). Add the garlic and cook another 3min just to remove the "raw" garlic taste, but to keep the garlic flavor strong.

1lb ground lamb
2lbs ground turkey
4-5 T. shredded/minced fresh mint leaves
3-4T. dried Greek oregano
Salt and Pepper
Saute until just cooked (use a little butter if you need to)-don't brown the meat. It will cook more later. While the meat is still hot add the herbs and some salt and pepper as well as your onion/garlic mix.

Let your filling cool enough to be handled.

To stuff the grape leaves, lay one out flat. Put a small spoonful of filling at the base of the leaf. Fold up the bottom, in the sides and then roll. It is easier to use the largest leaves (although the steam and veins are tougher so they are a little harder to chew). If you have kid helpers, let them do the big ones. I always have to check my greed and Zen nature when I make grape leaves or spring rolls because it gets boring and I start rushing. This means I try to put too much filling in and then it won't roll well. Plus the filling tastes delicious so naturally I try to cram in as much as possible. Who knew that making stuffed grape leaves could reveal your inner character flaws? Roll the leaves as tightly as possible without breaking them.

Use a heavy pot. Coat the bottom with olive oil. Use all the broken or extra grape leaves to line the bottom of the pot. Pack the stuffed grape leaves in tightly, seam side down. You can layer them up. Add enough water to cover the bottom layer of stuffed leaves. Add the juice from a lemon to the pot. Use a heavy plate that fits just inside your pot to weigh down the grape leaves. I have a pottery one that I place on the grape leaves and then I put a clean rock on top of the plate. Bring your pot to a low boil and then let it gently simmer for about 30-45min. Keep an eye on it to make sure the water level stays steady. When they are done, remove them from the pot. I like to serve mine cold, so I put them on a plate coated with olive oil in the fridge. Just before serving, I drizzle more high quality olive oil and maybe a little salt and pepper. Looking at the non-uniform nature of my grape leaves it is obvious I do not possess a Greek grandmother who taught me how to roll grape leaves, but they taste good! I ate some for breakfast one morning and it made a very good, cooling meal out in the sunshine in my back yard.

Paleo Greek - Episode #1: Grape Leaves

My sons performed some plays last night based on 4 Greek myths. Their fellow cast members were a bunch of other homeschoolers. Homeschoolers are notorious for leaving no stone unturned, so in honor of the Greek myths we had a Greek potluck. This seemed the perfect reason to unearth the jar of grape leaves from my shelf (that had been there awhile) and make stuffed grape leaves. My sister, realizing my often frantic, over-scheduled existence, was like "why the hell don't you just go buy some stuffed grape leaves"? "They won't be Paleo. They'll have rice" I said. "Yeah, like 14 grains of rice. So what." My sister is way more sensible than I am. But I had already envisioned an idyllic homeschool, mother-son experience -cooking Greek food to soak up the whole Greek thing before the debut. First, as I was gingerly tugging the wad of grape leaves out of the too-narrow-mouthed jar I told my sons the story of their Dad and I watching the very old Portugese women pick grape leaves from a vine alongside our triple decker apartment building in Somerville, MA. Like most children of divorced parents, my kids find stories involving their parents together, fairly compelling. Grape leaves aside. I gave Son #1 the task of carefully peeling apart the fragile leaves, unwrinkling them, and rinsing them. Since Son #1 is currently the physical equivalent of a bull in a china shop, this was risky, but turned out OK. Son #2 was playing the role of "grape picker" in one of the Greek plays. We had been to the dollar store the previous day to find some plastic grapes for a costume piece. "Look Ezra", I said, "these are real grape leaves, like the ones on the plastic grapes". "Grandma says the Greeks picked grapes to make wine," Ezra says skeptically. My mother, with good reason, is a tee totaller of the most stoic variety. Somehow she managed to pass on her feelings about wine to her grandson even in the context of a Greek myth! "Yup. Dionysus was the God of wine. He was very important." I try to inject some objectivity, but I'm pretty sure Grandma is more influential. "We don't have to eat these do we?" both sons ask. Maybe my sister was right...